Biblical requirement to forgive examined

It’s ironic that forgiveness is so misunderstood among believers, given the place that it holds in the whole scheme of biblical thought.

Jesus routinely explained forgiveness in economic terms. He compares it to forgiveness of a debt in Matthew 18.

Forgiveness means no longer demanding repayment for what is owed. It doesn’t require a particular feeling. When Jesus demands we forgive each other from the “heart” that’s not saying we are required to feel a particular emotion: it just means we must be sincere.

People get tripped up on the requirement to forgive one another. They worry that they haven’t really forgiven like they should if they still feel wounded or even angry about what was done to them. They worry that forgiveness would require them to act like the offense never happened, or that it would require them to restore the offender to the previous relationship or level of trust. Some have even been taught that they have some Christian duty to forgive people who have never sought their forgiveness.

None of these things represent the Bible’s teaching.

I can forgive you by simply resolving that you no longer owe me anything, and I’m not going to go on demanding any form of repayment. That’s how God forgives us, after all. He sent his son to pay the debt we have accrued through sin. Jesus paid this in his own blood. Now that the debt has been fully satisfied, no further payment is due. If your account has been zeroed out, there’s nothing more to pay. You’re free.

As a result, God tells us to treat each other the same. If you’re holding a grudge, you haven’t forgiven. If you’re constantly bringing up the offense, however old it is, you haven’t forgiven. You can’t have a secret desire to see the person pay for their sin against you with some amount of pain and suffering, and still claim you’ve forgiven.

But, you don’t have to trust them just because you’ve released them from their debt to you. You don’t have to have all warm and fuzzy thoughts about them. (Granted, there is a separate command to love your neighbor as yourself, but even that is more about actions than feelings.)

Now, this may be a radical thought: You are under no compulsion to forgive those who haven’t sought your forgiveness. You’re certainly free to do that, as Christ did from the cross, praying for the forgiveness of those who stood around mocking him as he died.

As a general rule, though, God is not in the business of forgiving people who are stubbornly unrepentant. You may find it in the best interest of your emotional health to forgive unrepentant people in your life, just so you can move forward. However, this sort of unasked-for favor is not required of you. The required response when you are sinned against is to go to that person in private and seek reconciliation (Matthew 18:15). This is tough, though, and won’t be done by cowards, which is why it’s so rare in the kingdom.

You should be ready to forgive, but until it’s sought from you, it’s not wrong to pursue justice.

Hopefully these thoughts will set you free if you wonder about the quality of your own forgiveness.

Gordan Runyan is the pastor of Immanuel Baptist Church in Tucumcari. Contact him at:

[email protected]