Robocalls unavoidable, dangerous

Robocalls are to cell phone ownership what mosquitoes are to fishing.

They’re an unavoidable nuisance and can be dangerous.

Mosquitoes carry disease; robocalls are dangerous to the vulnerable.

I applaud the prospect of laws that will make robocalls illegal.

I hang up on all of them. It’s the closest I can come to a Deet for robocalls.

Unfortunately, I answer calls from Area Code 575 and 505. If you’re in journalism, your name appears on a story and the call could be something you should pay attention to.

If I miss a call from an unknown number, though, I’ll ignore it.

If that caller does need to contact me, he or she will call again later or leave a message.

I am fascinated, however, by the techniques in play.

I think robocalling might employ a lot of actors seeking work while they wait for their big breaks.

“Hello,” one condescending voice starts, “this is Connor. I’m calling from our employment department.”

This one has the tone and attitude of an arrogant corporate tool, so it’s convincing.

And then there’s, “Hel-LOW! How ARE you!”

This is a female voice that sounds like an old, forgotten friend, but it’s compelling. You think you’re supposed to know this person. The longer you stay on the line, however, the deeper into a scam pitch you get.

The next one might be from good old “Coach.”

If you don’t know who Coach is (and what a great old guy he seems to be), you assume this call was meant for somebody else, but then you listen to the great opportunity he’s offering for the person the call seems to be intended for.

“Hey, I can get in on this,” you’re supposed to think.

Another favorite is “Please, stop what you’re doing and listen to this very important message.”

The male voice is compelling, but it’s time to hang up.

A new one starts with “We are immediately suspending your credit card due to suspicious activity...”

Once again authoritative and menacing — a method actor, I’m sure.

If you get this one, hang up. Just hang up. Don’t push the button they want you to push. Just hang up. You still might want to call the number on your credit card just to make sure.

I got one recently that says she’s from “Visa Mastercard.” “We’ve been monitoring your activity for the past six months and congratulations...”

Goodbye.

Visa and Mastercard are competitors. That was my first clue.

The bottom line, if you stay on the line and respond, inevitably you will be asked to send money.

You will get nothing in return except a smaller bank account.

Just hang up.

That’s also the advice from the cell service providers.

If you get a robo-message left on your phone, delete it.

In the meantime, I might record my own message for robocall actors.

“Hey-hey!” I’ll start out. “This is Steve with the academy. You have been nominated for a Robocall Oscar! Congratulations! But before you can pick up your prize, we need a cash deposit...”

Steve Hansen writes about our life and times from his perspective of a semi-retired Tucumcari journalist. Contact him at:

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