Americans 'ain't-s'poseta' say that

The federal Centers for Disease Control denied it over the weekend, but for a while, the country thought there were seven words that the CDC was prohibited from using in reports to Congress.

There was no prohibition, it turns out, but there was apparently some advice against using these words floating around several federal departments.

The words are “vulnerable,” “diversity,” “fetus,” “transgender,” “entitlement,” “science-based” and “evidence-based.”

Ma, put your hands over Junior’s ears. We can’t have language like that in our house.

Here’s the real American’s explanation of why those words shouldn’t be allowed:

Vulnerable

We can’t admit people are vulnerable in America, because it often costs government money to help them. Our current, patriotic Congress doesn’t like to spend government money, unless it’s on weapons with which we can threaten people we don’t like and make them vulnerable.

Diversity

Real Americans aren’t, you know, diverse. All the people who are the same in that real American way got out the vote last time and gave us a Congress we can believe in. America doesn’t need all those different people.

Fetus

You’ve got to say “baby.” Now, if the baby’s not born yet, you should have to call it a one-quarter baby, or a half-baby or even a 62-percent baby. Not a fetus. That sounds like what you put socks on.

Transgender

No. Men don’t wish they were women. Women don’t wish they were men. Unless they’re, you know, diverse and not real Americans.

Entitlement

Nobody should get entitlements in this country. That’s socialist. Just don’t touch my Social Security or my government employee pension, or benefits for representatives and senators who agree with all of us real Americans.

Science-based

Science is all just a theory, and there are just too many scientists in the CDC. You’d think science had something to do with controlling disease.

Evidence-based

There are only two kinds of actions, “s’posetas” and “ain’t-s’posetas.” Either you’re s’poseta do something, or you ain’t-s’poseta do it. Evidence is just an excuse the courts use to let criminals go free.

Steve Hansen writes about our life and times from his perspective of a retired Tucumcari journalist. Contact him at:

stevenmhansen

@plateautel.net