Don't buy pets chocolate for Christmas
Published: Friday, December 5th, 2003
This may be a little early to talk about Christmas and my Christmas list, but the slave is sound asleep and won’t hear me playing at the computer. She has banned me from using it of late and has caused several of my fans to call to tell me how much they miss me. Yes, the slave has talked to me about Christmas and its meaning, and I have listened attentively, but I really like to hear her talk about shopping and buying presents for me. She tells me I am a bit selfish because I want so many packages, but I explain that it is her turn to give to me because I send the whole year giving my love and devotion to her. Besides, I work hard while trying to guard this corner in order to keep her safe and to keep all varmints at a distance. She did ask me recently why I didn’t catch a mouse she saw careening around the corner, but I told her that wee one is my friend and I like to talk to him when she is off running around. You should have heard what she said then. On the other hand, you shouldn’t have heard those words. The slave did come in one afternoon last week with a big sack, and she told me I was the only one who had a Christmas gift thus far. She then hid the sack, and I have been spending my time trying to find it. I hope it is some kind of chocolate candy or even chocolate ice cream because I think I would really like both although she tells me I shouldn’t have either. Well, I read a story about Sir Winston Churchill’s canine friend and learned that Sir Winston gave him the most expensive chocolate available. I happened to mention that fact, but the slave remarked that I hadn’t read the entire story because I would have learned that the poor furry friend had to see a veterinarian regularly to have his stomach pumped. I told her I wouldn’t mind that if I knew what is was, but she assured me I would be very ill before and after the procedure. She says she is trying to protect me. Maybe she will find me some special treats and toys anyway because I have been particularly good since December 1. I figure she will forget all the other months is I show her how well behaved I am now. I have spent a lot of time in her lap during the cold evenings and have told her how good I’m being. When I put my paws on her shoulders and look into her eyes, I know I can ask for most things I want because she seems to pay particular attention when I am showing her that I can behave properly. Besides, when I act particularly affectionate, she seems to be pleased and often gives me an extra treat. She left one of her catalogs lying on the floor, and I saw that it contained all sorts of wonderful items for pets. I’m particularly interested in one of the toys that makes a lot of noise because I can really get the slave’s attention when I play with such toys while she is trying to watch television. She even says something about my standing between her and the television while I’m playing. I’m not sure all those words are kind, however. If you see her in any of the stores, be sure to ask what she is buying for me. If you have some suggestions, please give them to her because I might not have seen the pictures of some really great toys and treats. Remind her that this is time to spend some of that money she is so stingy about using. She could even buy me a steak or two, some chickens, and a big turkey. Those would surely beat the tidbits she feeds from a can and would definitely make my kibbles taste better. You might even ask Santa to remember to fill my stocking. If we don’t get to visit again before Christmas, please have a merry one and think of me as you eat the wonderful foods, especially the desserts. At least, we’ll visit again next year.
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