Questions haunt columnist's mind
Published: Thursday, March 11th, 2004
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1 For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it. And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose,” Romans 8:24-25, 28. Sometimes doubts creep into our lives and leave us wondering what will happen next. Left unchecked they grow and grow, taking on a life of their own. Lately, I find myself doubting and wondering whether or not I should continue to write a column. Now, I am not saying that I will no longer be writing a column. No, I am saying that doubts keep flowing into my mind as I wonder if it is benefiting anyone. I am praying about it and seeking advice as to if and how often it will continue to appear in the SUN. I shared with the editor that it has always been my desire to help others through my writing. I know without a doubt that when I first started writing this column I felt a strong calling from the Lord. He was the one that allowed everything to fall into place over eleven years ago. He is the one that gives me inspiration and shows me what I should write. Then why is it after all these years, that writing about my Lord and God, the one that gave me life (both physical and spiritual) should seem so difficult? What happened to the days when the words came faster than I could type them? How I long for those days once again. How I desire that closeness with God again. When I looked out the window this morning, most of Tucumcari Mountain was obscured by clouds from my view. Even though I couldnít see the mountain, I knew that it was still there. While I can see the top of the mountain this afternoon, it is still hazy and not very clear. One of the reasons I love where we live now is the gorgeous view we have of Tucumcari Mountain. I love when there is snow on it or when the sun shines just right at sunset. Though these are changes on the surface, the mountain itself remains constant and solid. I know that no matter when I look out my window whether or not I can see it, it is still there. It is no wonder that it stands along various trails as it serves as a landmark for miles around. There is no telling the thousands of people who used it to guide their way. Even though I can’t see the Lord’s guidance as clear as I once did, I know without a doubt that He is still there waiting to use me in some capacity. Still, I am unsure if I am letting self get in the way of what He wants me to do with my life. Is this so-called writer’s block a result of sin in my life? I pray that the Holy Spirit will reveal to me if it is, so I can repent and once again be right with God. Is the Lord trying to teach me patience? If so I hope I will learn patience soon, no not soon but in God’s timing. There was a story of a man who was upset that he had no shoes until he met a man who had no feet. All around us are people that are in worse conditions, but yet we have a tendency to think about our own problems. What I fail to see sometimes is how God is using those challenges that we call problems for His glory. God promises that all things work for good and I know that good will come from this trial in my life. It is my continued prayer that God will use what is going on in my life to help another person. Maybe there is someone else reading this right now who doesn’t feel the Lord’s hand in their life as they once did. If that is the case, I pray right now that the Lord will help us to get back on the right path. While my view of the future remains obscured, I am going to cling to faith. Like that mountain that I see (or don’t see) from my window, I will continue in faith that the clear skies of life are just around the corner.
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