Dining delights of TV's dinners
Published: Sunday, August 1st, 2004
My wife and I eat out a great deal, so we enjoy the wide variety of restaurants in Tucumcari. My wife contends that we would not eat out so much if I wouldn’t try to cook as often as I do. That being said, I think the attempt at a thing is the most important part of any achievement. I mean, the Titanic attempted to cross the Atlantic didn’t it? Custer attempted to overcome the Sioux, didn’t he? Napoleon attempted to conquer Russia, didn’t he? And what do we remember about them? My wife just pointed out that we remember them because they were unmitigated disasters. Well, maybe those aren’t very good analogies for my cooking. My wife just stuck her head in my office at the house to say they were, “perfect analogies” for my cooking. My wife really shouldn’t be so critical of my cooking since my cooking brought us together in our early days of courting. It was romantic, really. I had asked her over to my place for a home-cooked meal. And I must say, it worked out pretty well, if you ask me. Why, it was because I was willing to ride in the ambulance with her when they took her to the hospital after eating my Swedish meatballs that she thought I was “sensitive.” Heck, I even held her hand while she moaned. At the time she said, it was “very sweet” of me. I mean it was rough on me too. Do you think it is an easy thing to sit and listen to a person having their stomach pumped? Well, I can tell you it isn’t. Although, I must say as time goes by, I’m getting used to it. So you can see it’s been rough on me too. My wife does have some nice things to say about my cooking. In regard to some of my cooking, my wife says I treat her like a Greek goddess. she says I give her burnt offerings. Let me just say, I enjoy cooking. The problem is that people do not always enjoy the things I cook. Actually that may be misstating the situation a bit. Seldom do people let themselves experience what I have cooked. It seems they have trouble getting past the way a particular dish might smell or taste. I am sure that if they would let themselves get past those trivialities they would enjoy some of the delightful dishes I whip up. In fact, I have a particular friend that I got to try a special dish I’m especially proud of and after he got out of the emergency room he said it was the best tuna casserole that he had ever tasted which I think is high praise. Granted, it would have been a better compliment if I had not made chicken enchiladas for the meal. In his defense, he said he probably would have been able to identify it better if it weren’t for the stomach cramps he was experiencing at the time. To avoid a reoccurrence of that problem, the misidentifying, not the stomach - I’m sure that was just a coincidence, you know how quickly those stomach flu bugs can come up (my wife says “come up” probably isn’t the best phrase when discussing that meal) - I was thinking about issuing menus with the things I cook so the people will know beforehand just what they are dining on. My wife said this may not be the best idea, however. “Knowing what made you sick, doesn’t make you feel any better.” And she may have a point, not about making people sick, but about people not knowing what they are eating. Yeah, I could just ask them what they thought it was after they had eaten it and whatever they answer, I would agree. Well, within reason; I mean there are some things you just don’t want your food called.
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