Ode to women in chaps
Published: Saturday, January 28th, 2006
There’s something oh, so charming about girl’s basketball Or lawyers wearing pantyhose or sweethearts with a drawl I like doctors with mascara and with painted fingernails And flirty flight attendants with their pretty ponytails There’s school marms in the classroom, some are nice but some are meanies And hurricanes named Rita and there’s models in bikinis I like pilots wearing lipstick, flying flappers flexing flaps But in my heart my greatest love is women wearing chaps. Oh, I know what you are thinking, “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard” But a cowboy’s life is simple, so it’s really not absurd See all day he’s punchin’ cattle and, though some might not agree One can tire of endless blue skies and the vast serenity Of the majesty of mountains and the beauty of the plains That the western singers yearn for in their wistful sad refrains But for me the scene I picture ’tween the daydreams and the naps Is riding drag on my ol’ pony behind women wearing chaps You can call me a romantic, even pansy if you choose It’s not the cowboy image that the movie moguls use But, beauty’s in the eye of the beholder, so we’re told A flower to a botanist, a fungi to a mold Tight jowls and big firm hineys is a pork producer’s dream Clear water to plumber, to a vampire it’s a fleam But, to a cowboy makin’ long days checkin’ fence and water gaps, His idea of perfection His triple decker, shoot the moon, till death doth he collapse His Venus on the half shell is a woman wearing chaps.
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